Living

I Bought A Pregnancy Test A few years back a friend of mine wanted to buy a pregnancy test, she hadn't got her period in sometime and wanted to confirm it first before she told anyone. I never actually thought of this. I always wondered about buying condoms or birth control pills but never about a pregnancy test. A pregnancy scare is something most girls face who are sexually active (I thought of saying most married women face but then I thought what the hell, why play it  safe). So a pregnancy scare comes with many nuances. First, do I tell my partner now? what would be his reaction? What do I want? ...and so on. Apparently these are not questions that only an "unmarried women" woman asks herself but even married women face similar questions in present day situations. They have a similar set of apprehensions like would he be happy with this new situation? his reaction? or the worst would he blame me for"letting" this happen? My friend belonged to the ...

Give Me Time I know friend my first hesitation hurt badly And I saw the pain in your eyes from my questions. I know you needed a hug then, quite frankly But instead, I gave you cowardly suggestions. I know the time has passed and I don’t live that moment But for you, time doesn't change as you suffer in silence. I know your forgiveness came as atonement For our friendship moves on in full vehemence. I Know they say Love thy neighbor as thy self But now how do I love those who hate you. I know your heart is on a closed closet shelf Crying out to love freely like everyone else too. I know you live a life masked by sarcasm To protect yourself from mockery and intolerance. I know you put up a false enthusiasm For a world that judges with no consequence. I know the time for realization is creeping near So heed my plea and let your resistance not fade away Give me time once again to change this world for you my dear Don’t lose hope for I wa...

O Little One O little one, get up, stand up  For today is a new day Even if you are staring at an empty cup  And everything seems filled with dismay O little one, put up a fight  For today cannot be the end.  Even if tears bring comfort and seem right  Remember sadness is a selfish friend O little one, open your ears For today is calling out to you Even if the pain allows new fears Beware the darkness can be inviting too O little one, don’t come to me For today still has your name on it Even if the other side you may see Live on for me like a lamp that’s lit…Live on for me until god finds fit…Live on for me just a little bit

True Likeness The face of God I am to see For I am blessed as I shall see As every morning she opens to me Giving me love deeper than the sea My heart doesn’t long for paradise For God is with me in guise The peace of heaven is on earth As every mother that spreads mirth If God came down I wouldn’t know To kneel down or bow For all my life I thought His Greatness Was in her ... His true likeness

A Mothers Plea When all have forgotten my son’s braveness, In the quiet of the darkness I ask myself did my son die in vain, And is all this worth a mother’s pain. When all around is death and sorrow, And my son was fighting for a better tomorrow.  I beg the world to end the hate, Before this world fades and it’s too late. When dawns this day of peace’s victory, It will be a celebration for history. But I pray that hour may come soon, Before the silence of the graveyard in the ruin

An ode to this century We live in times where wants are planted While needs remain to be granted Where power alone can speak And truth has become meek We live in times where we forgot to enjoy a sunny may And curse the rain that ruined the pathway Where the rich abuses the earth While the poor man cleans it for a penny’s worth We live in times where children feel in a cage, Wait for youth and then detest old age  We live today only to regret yesterday And forever hope tomorrow will be a better day We live in times where we work to repay what we borrow Give up on love and gather only sorrow Home becomes only a place to rest Filled with things that we may need, lest We live in times where we have stopped wishing for freedom And desire innocence more seldom Where privacy has become a luxury Even if it leaves others in quiet misery We live in times where change is crying for help Bravery is reduced to a timid yelp And we go o...

Until I dance When the notes start tricklin And I am on the street standin There’s a move that screams to be free For I want nothing else than to be me Mother wonders if a man will like my dance For a girl is allowed only a prance But nothing brings joy other than this For I want nothing else than what I miss My friends think I am on something But who cares I want to swing   So give me my song this one last chance For I am nothing else until I dance 

I came back to Hyderabad today from Kerala with lots of banana chips and black halwa, eager to tell all about Kerala, little did I realise was that I didnt know whether to say I went home (naade) or I went for a vacation. And therefore the origin of this post. I have had 2 main weaknesses in life, sports and language. The former I had sporadic trysts with and the latter I indulge in when the situation demands it from me. I speak English fluently and I would be an above average in India and may be satisfactory in countries where English is the most widely spoken language. I have always been cautious with Hindi and my Telugu would be a 3 on ten, but I can get across the message and understand it very well. Malyalam has always been troublesome for me. I come from a mixed background being 75% malyalee and 25% goan-portuguese. But we decided we wanted to be Malyalees because it is what we could identify with. For the record, I am a loyal Malyalee (if there is something like that), always s...